Bullying in the Workplace
How to deal with bullying at work.
Go above your immediate superior
If your immediate superior does not help you to resolve the situation, then don’t feel that you cannot go any higher with your complaint. This is where I went wrong. My boss told me that there was very little she could do to resolve the situation and that I should, for want of a better phrase, put up or shut up. At that point, I was so unhappy in my job that I found another one, which wasn’t as well paid. My superiors were very surprised that I had resigned and asked me for my reasons. When I told them, they were astonished. I had presumed that my immediate superior would have reported the situation to them, but she hadn’t. I discovered that I was not the only person to have a problem with the person bullying me; in fact, my story was the final nail in his coffin, and, the week after I began my new job, he was sacked. I was offered my old job back, but obviously by then, it was too late.
Consider legal action
I think that this is an option to consider only in extreme cases. However, if you have been totally ground down by your bully and you are struggling to function normally – I, for example, had a nervous breakdown as a result of the bullying – then it may be worth looking into legal action. Someone within human resources in your organisation should be able to advise you what options you have. If you do go ahead though, you should be prepared for even more stress, an examination of your private affairs and the possibility that you may not win. On the plus side, exposing a bully does made a stand for all the victims and may compensate you for any lost earnings. Make sure you do what is best for you.
Having been bullied at work, I know how devastating it can be. I can honestly say that my bully made my life a misery. Of course, every situation will be different, but I hope that, by suggesting in hindsight what I should have done myself, I can help someone else find a solution to their own predicament.
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Post Commentjo oliver
On June 14, 2008 at 11:22 pm
great advice!
louie jerome
On June 18, 2008 at 2:52 am
Interesting article
Beth
On December 3, 2008 at 8:32 pm
I think i am being bullied and it is by the Human Resources manager what do i do??
Ben Leichtling
On May 12, 2009 at 4:48 pm
Thanks for the great post Sun,
I’d only add that the worst problem will be a dramatic increase in negative self-talk that I call “self-bullying.” Your inner voices will make dire predictions of the future, tell you that you’re helpless in the grip of huge forces beyond your control and predict that, no matter how hard you try, you’ll inevitable fail. Your supercritical inner voices will try to stress, depress and discourage you, and make you give up. Your inner voices, full of self-questioning and self-doubt, can erode your self-esteem and self-confidence, destroy your hope and immobilize you.
Self-bullying is the most destructive form of bullying because it saps your will to overcome your circumstances. Self-bullying can rob you of your determination, courage, strength and skill. With those voices shouting or whispering in your ear, it’s impossible to gather yourself and make consistent, focused effort. If you let fear and self-bullying destroy your strength and will, you won’t have the right stuff, you won’t do the right thing and the economic tide will pull you under.
Find a great coach or therapist to guide you in the inner work necessary to convert those voices into effective coaches. Do things that keep your spirits up and your backbone strong.
Emerson was right when he said, “What lies behind us and lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us.”
Disclosure: I’m a practical, pragmatic coach and consultant, and author of, “How to Stop Bullies in their Tracks” and “Eliminate the High Cost of Low Attitudes.” Check out my website and blog at BulliesBeGone (http://www.BulliesBeGone.com).