Career Dreams vs. Feeding my Family

Do you love your job?

Are you doing what you love? Your occupation I mean. Is it what you dreamed of when you were little? Or did it come to you in an earth shattering epiphany that alerted you to the fact that this(your career) is what you were meant to do? If you’re like most of us then the answer is no. We go at life as best we can scratching out a living. Some of us are lucky enough to actually catch that dream. The rest. Well-let me just say, our fingernails are a little dirty.

My job pays the bill but…

I have been a line cook for over a decade. At chain restaurants as well as mom and pop eateries. Over the years I’ve made your steaks, your burgers, and your pasta. You name it, and I can whip it up in no time flat and just about guarantee that you’ll love it. I wouldn’t be in the same position today if the jobs I had taken in the past weren’t available to me. They even paid for this keyboard! It’s the same for millions of you out there, I’m sure.

Now, just the thought of standing over a 450-degree grill with some (gung ho about the company) manager yelling that the food is taking too long, makes me sick to my stomach. What’s worse is that my dream is out there. I’ve always dreamed of being a writer. A novelist specifically. I’ve chased my dream. But until recently I’ve always moved at a walk. I work at the computer during the evenings and on any off days that I have, but it’s not enough. The forty hours a week I spend helping people’s butts get bigger is the time that I need to be working out character flaws and finding an artist to work on maps. I’m doing fine juggling but I also feel like I’m losing out. At the same time I don’t want my daughter to lose out, so I go stuff lobster tails and keep my mouth shut. The whole time praying that one day, I can break out of the cycle and become the next Stephenie Meyer or Chris Paolini. I freelance a little and even blog hoping that writing will some day bring in enough income to justify working at my craft full time.

Chasing the Dream

Recently I’ve cut back at work and began to get serious about writing. I’ve been a much happier person and finally my life feels right. But the bills are a little behind and my family can’t eat my manuscript or a year subscription to a magazine that publishes my work. Right now the only thing that I’m prepared to cut out is sleep and the cable. I feel that if I don’t write, I’ll die inside but I can’t write living in my car. So for now it’s a balancing act. A lot of hope and prayer go into my work. In today’s economy I can’t just up and quit my job, but I can’t keep my sanity and be part of the daily work force for too much longer either. Even in the mist of all that could go wrong, this the most exciting time in my life. Chasing this dream.