Honey, it’s the same old thing every year of my life. Every Christmas that rolls around, me and sister have to work our fingers to the bone gitting dinner ready for all our kin folks. It’s cooking cakes and pies, turkey and dressing and trying to get enough on the table to fill every body up. Child, I get tired of it. But Sister wont hear nothing about nobody else doin any Christmas cooking but us. Now, if it was up to me, I would say let Aunt Fannie and Aunt Almer do it sometime. But there ain’t no talking sense into Sister’s hard head. I hear tell if you can get along with your family, you can get along with anybody. And I try child, I really do.
Honey, Christmas is over and I am a wreck. It’s just like I’ve been run over with a Grayhound bus. I’m just that wore out. Me and Sister had so much cooking to do. We had ever shelf filled up with cakes and pies and it was all just gobbled up. All the family come on Christmas and child it was so many kin folks running in and out, I didn’t know if I was coming or going. Sister just kept on a poking at me till I just wanted to run up the mountain screaming. That’s just how bad my nerves was. All the younguns was fighting and squalling. I wanted to take a hickory limb to the lot of them, and I would have but Sister would have had a screeching fit and honey, I had enough on my hands.
Image by paparutzi via Flickr
Guthrie and Roy was passing around the moonshine. Child, I saw them out there in the edge of the yard, them old boys was hootin and holloring till I wanted to tell them to cut out the caterwallin. They was worse than the younguns and Brother wasn’t any help. He was just leadin them on. I did call Brother out. I said Brother, will you get your hind end in here and see about getting some stove wood in here. Me and sister had that big old turkey in the oven and it takes stove wood to keep that oven hot. But no, Brother wasn’t about to leave that moonshine. He didn’t give a dad gum about no turkey long as they was moonshine. He did send the little boys in with a arm load of stove wood.
We finally got dinner on the table. We had that turkey sitting right in the middle of the table and bowls of dressing passing around, sweet potatoes, big bowls of pinto beans, slaw, corn and turnip greens. We had the dessert table set out with all the pecan, peach, apple, and pumpkin pies and all them cakes. Honey when you looked at them tables you was looking at a lot of work, and me and sister done it all. I said, Sister why do we have to do all this work ever blasted year that comes around? Why don’t somebody else do it once in awhile? But Sister wont listen to a word I say. She just says, Lacy, why don’t you shut up that pie hole of yours? You just don’t have the Christmas spirit and I don’t want to hear nothin else come otta your mouth. I am tired of your constant harping. You don’t even have the sense to know when to shut up. Now I want you to stop pestering me. So I did.
Tulan’s Sister Stories: