I work in an office. I have worked in some office or other for the last eight years. Before that I was a teacher, but that’s a whole other story. The other day, as I was listening to my boss’ phone conversation with his mechanic, I started to muse about what a strange environment an office is. We are thrown into unwelcome closeness with people we do not choose. We listen to their private affairs because we can’t help it. We smell their lunches and sometimes we are witness to their less than charming habits. It’s almost like family. Here are some observations and some tips to help you survive cube life.

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Breakfast

Many people eat as soon as they get to the office because they skipped breakfast at home or because their commute is so long that they’re hungry as soon as they come in. Invariably, they leave bagel crumbs everywhere or slop their yogurt all over their keyboards. When I started my current job, the keyboard I took over was chalk full of some sort of pastry and had white sticky (cream cheese?) stains on the keys. Yuck. It took a lot of Clorox wipes to get it to a usable shape. Tip: get a plate or wipe up after yourself!

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Lunch

We are all busy who end up eating lunch at their desks. Kudos to all of you who always go out for lunch or at least get away from you cube. Some people notoriously eat at their desks (me included), which is fine, but not great if half the office can smell what they’re having. Personally, I am allergic to most shellfish and not a fan of seafood in general. Someone always brings fish in for lunch and I end up furiously spraying my green pear body splash in the air just to be able to breathe without gagging. Tip: use your common sense and do not bring in smelly (albeit yummy) items for lunch, or if you do, eat in the lunchroom!

And Everything in Between

Music is a lovely way to help make your day more pleasant. However, this is what earphones were made for. I work with a man who transferred to another department. I went to say hello and heard the soft tones of the radio playing in the background. “Oh, nice,” I said “you have a radio!” My own department is as silent as the grave, apart from the odd phone conversation with someone’s mechanic, of course. My co-worker began furiously whispering “I can’t stand it! They play easy rock all day! If I hear Michael Buble one more time…!” OK, there’s no accounting for tastes. Again, headphones, my friends and that includes people who do not want to listen to the choice of radio station of the day or someone else’s muffler problems.

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Personal grooming is best left in the washroom. Nuff said. I don’t want to hear those nail clippers and neither does anyone else!

A word must be said about the use of email though that is not really a cube habit, but certainly an office habit. I am guilty of this, so I really can’t complain when someone does it to me. I have learned the error of my ways though. Here is the thing – people send an email and then rush over to your cube a second later to discuss it. Nobody reads it that fast! I know it’s hard ’cause you’re all excited about that email, but give the other person a chance to read it!

Ah, office life, what a life!

I’m sure there are plenty of interesting office life stories out there. If you want to share, leave a comment!