Exciting Careers on The Job Market

It’s not enough to finish high school and go to college. It is not enough to graduate with first class honors in some exotic field like nuclear physics. You need a job and you need it real fast. You were not alone from your class, and neither did you graduate alone. Everybody is lining up for the same glamorous jobs out there.

When you pick that newspaper and flick through the advertisements, noting down the addresses, when you visit jobseeker sites on the internet and try to find a fitting job, when you ask friends and family for any available opportunity in their departments, it should occur to you that your competition is doing the same and millions out their want the same opportunity that you are focused on.

How can you maximize your chances of getting a job?

It is simple. Look for jobs that are unattractive to as many people as possible or employ yourself. Look for career opportunities that have very little competition and will only attract a handful of desperate jobseekers. Which ones are they?

1. Morgue attendant – You may not admit this but working with the dead scares the hell out of many people. Very few people will offer themselves for an opportunity to be dressing the dead and preparing them for burial. Get yourself some basic knowledge on what the dead may or may not like and get down to business. In most cases there are no interviews for this exciting career, you may be the only candidate but if there happens to be an interview, surprise the panel by walking into the morgue munching some cookies and teasing the bodies on the embalming tables.
2. Hangman – This is one of the most enjoyable jobs anyone can hope for. Imagine sitting idle and watching horror movies while waiting for your next victim. You can use those free hours to write as many articles and novels as possible. Imagine watching that man or woman pray for his or her sins to be forgiven just before you put that noose around their necks and squeeze until the neck snaps. You can even tease them a little about what they think hell will be like.
3. Resident sperm donor – This is for men only. In vitro fertilization clinics are sprouting in major cities around the world. Many men approached usually shy away from sperm donation as if it is painful, when all they need is…well, to cut the long story short, walk in and tell the receptionist what they want to hear. You want to be a resident sperm donor. This will save them advertisement costs, transportation and logistics issues among other factors not forgetting the fact that they will be assured of fresh semen every day whenever needed.
4. Fossil excavator – You know what archeologists do for a living. They go digging old sites for pieces of bones from the past that may shed some new light into our historical past. You don’t even have to do any digging at all. Visit butcheries, collect some bones, burry them somewhere in a cave known to you alone and go in search of the same bones after five or so years or so. Make a documentary and sell it to the national geographic or some other organization. You may also start looking for imaginary tribes or races that got lost a while back. Not many people love archeology!
5. Fortune teller – Believe it or not, many people would like to know what is in store for them in the near future. Some go to preachers, some visit palmists while many others will read horoscopes with finality that will leave you laughing for the rest of the day. Open an office and tell people what you think will happen to them. Prophesy only the ‘good news’ at first so as to build a customer base and when they have been drawn to you so strongly, start dishing out the cruel stuff. When they don’t believe you, move to another town or city!
6. Snake charmer – Think of the millions of men and women out there who have a phobia for snakes. You can easily get a job at a national park or game reserve as a snake charmer and get those reptiles out of the jungle and into the reserves. If you can specialize in handling the real poisonous ones like the puff adder and the cobra, then be sure to get rich very quickly. There you are, start practicing on the less poisonous ones like the pythons.
7. Adult toy seller – Don’t sell those vibrators anonymously online or in salons. Agree to sell them door to door, explaining how they can be used, their advantages and any proper maintenance procedures that may be required. You really need to read the manuals and understand them well before embarking on this exciting salesmanship.
8. Obituary designer – Can you make it your job to design obituaries and sell them to the living? Come to think of it. You have often seen those stone tablets that are found on graves, and those messages found in newspapers everyday. This is the time to open a bureau that specializes in just that – Designing and selling obituaries to the living.
9. Pet food taster – Visit pet food manufacturers, those who manufacture dog food, cat food, snake food and any other pet food you may think of. Offer to taste this food for a fee and there you are. The interview may not be as stiff as it often is in some other business establishments. Your boss will take your word for it and he or she may not wish to confirm whether it’s true the food tastes nice!
10. Hell’s gateman – This last one is all made up. If you don’t want the other nine but may still need an exciting career with few applicants, then you can go to hell and help the devil keep vigil over those who made you suffer and remain jobless while still on earth. The only problem with this one is that you may have to die first before your application can be accepted!