Homage to The States I Call Home

I have a great deal of respect for those who can literally sit back and just let things happen to them.  

Born in Michigan, I was raised to work hard and dig deep in order to get ahead.  The pressure one puts on oneself in such an atmosphere is intense to say the least: everything you do must be as good as it can be or you have failed yourself and everyone who had high hopes for you.  Michiganders of my generation continually tried to escape the dying state around them, but most of us did so via frenetic industry without real gains or apparent direction.  There were very few of us who managed to light-heartedly skip through the trials of life–college applications, internships, major exams, relationship woes, starting a family, buying a house, investing, losing income, securing income, etc.  I can count on one hand the individuals from my high school graduating class who, like gods among men, managed to triumph over everything that destroyed and disillusioned the rest of us.  

And their secret to success? Not giving a damn about any of it.

No joking aside, the amount of stress I put on myself to do anything–from cleaning the house to searching for teaching jobs in this hellish economy–is 120% beyond what any of these few individuals invests in anything on a daily basis.  One of my friends has somehow managed to make virtually zero mistakes throughout his life: literally, he has hardly worked his entire life for anything that he has obtained.  He had no dangerous encounters/emotional hardships with social cliques in school; he was offered internship after job after career throughout college; he did not need to study to pass exams; his career is taking off because the company is taking off; he just bought a house and he is planning another cruise this summer just because he amassed enough rewards on his credit card to cash them in.  He is still the fun-loving, humorous, incredible person that you just want to hang out with that he has always been: now you just hate him more for it every time you get together with him.

On the flip-side, there’s me. Today I was giddy when I managed to locate a recipe for home-made laundry detergent because I can’t afford to buy the good stuff on my budget.  I am so worried I will screw up a job application it takes me about 2 hours alone to modify my cover letter to fit the newest job to which I’m applying.  I fought for 4.0s throughout undergraduate and graduate school, I struggled to write my Master’s thesis in the time allotted, I have dealt with more than my fair share of identity crises, and I am currently jobless and broke with no real hope at securing a teaching position in my new state of Texas (i.e., the degrees I will be paying for until my teeth rot out of my head–ETA faster and faster approaching what with my lack of income–are most likely sunk cost at this point and useless).  The federal government’s samurai-like budget cuts to education have managed to close off all opportunities for a high school/college instructor in the social sciences (unless, of course, he or she is already employed by the given school district…). And I am left to ponder my friend and the strange breed of human that he is.  While I have little hope left after doing all that I had been told I needed to do in order to succeed in life–care, take pride in your work, work hard, work smart, dig in and endure because it will eventually pay off, be sure to get as much education as you can because it will make you more marketable–my friend, who never even finished the degree that was necessary for his current employ, enjoys his life because it seems he has always just enjoyed his life.