How to Survive Telemarketing (You Poor Sad Bastard)
by Before managing my own center, I telemarketed for many years, and became so good at it, that even my own mother couldn’t recognize my phone voice anymore. While it is not a good job, if you can manage to endure this art of verbal prostitution you can make some money in the short term – though it’s ultimately a “dirty calling”.
Think You Can Manage?
So you see, there is only one way to survive telemarketing, and that is to get a manager gig as soon as possible. All the usual methods for corporate advancement apply, never be late, always be courteous and always be cheerful, even as another days worth abuse from the customers collects, festers in your very soul and makes you unfit do do anything else, but smile and dial, and die a little more each day on the inside.
But there are other ways to grease the process, don’t make friends with the other employees beyond casual acquaintance, never engage in profanity and other horseplay, even on your breaks, and always greet your managers with a smile, and continue to dress above your pay grade as mentioned with step one. At of the powers that be will recognize you as a person who is destined for something more, or they will spot you at once as a duplicitous fake, little asshole who would sell your own mother to a Mexican brothel for another number by your name on the big dry erase board, either way you have shown you have what it takes will surely make an effective call- center manager.
Just don’t ever call me twice, you little asshats. I know ways to torture telemarketers that makes what I do to the car salesmen in the previous article seem like sweet commerce indeed. Perhaps that should be a future article, just another attempt for me to give back to a world I love so much…
-Sinferno
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Post CommentDee
On October 20, 2009 at 1:03 am
I just got hired at a telemarketing firm 4 days ago and just today (my fourth day) they fired me b/c I only made the quota once. Its kinda crazy how I never had proper training and they didnt even give me a week to learn.
The owner said I sounded great but they couldnt understand what the problem was. Me either. Maybe my voice was too squeeky.
Oh well, Im kinda relieved now b/c I hated it anyway. Why must I call strangers out-the-blue and force them to buy something they didnt ask for? And for $8 an hr? uh no……
Ray
On August 26, 2010 at 11:58 am
Now i feel alot better. After reading this you gave me insight to what i already felt about the job (telemarketing) that i quit after 2 weeks. I couldnt handle it! I couldnt handle calling people during their most personal time. Calling elderly in their retirement villages that cant breath properly, and one lady being annoyed at me because i made her get out of the shower and she is freezing because she is stuck talking to me trying to sell her an expensive home improvement product. I simply do not like to sell people things while they are still in their houses. I would rather they call me or entice them with old fashioned advertising.
For goodness sake – i just could not do a job that is unethical and lacking in morals as telemarketing. It truly is unethical. It is as intrusive as a burgular breaking into your home, turning on your bedroom light, waking you up and saying \’Hello, are you Mr Jones? We are australia\’s most largest security company and we are currently in your area offering a free security house inspection and as you can see you clearly fail the inspection so we suggest you buy our security system for 10,000!