Jobs I Really Don’t Want to Hear About: Part 2

It’s the middle of the night and you hear water running in your bathroom. You crawl out of bed and rush toward the sound only to find that your toilet is over flowing and water is running uncontrollably. Your first instinct is to grab some towels and the plunger and begin to try t unclog the throne yourself. After an hour of troubleshooting your use of the plunger and realizing that you are no toilet pipe engineer you run for the phone book and swiftly turn to the yellow pages to find the first ad that says “Emergency Repairs”. By this time you are so desperate to go back to bed and get the final two hours of rest that your body has been looking forward to for the past hour that anyone except for you or your wife that hasn’t woke up throughout this entire ordeal will do, as long as they are a certified plumber or even a non certified plumbers assistant. You place the call and wait with great anticipation for them to arrive. You daydream about how competent they will be and how diligently they will carry out their duty or job so you can go back to your bed and salvage the last few minutes of sleep you will have before going to your job that you hate but have to have to support you and your family and pay the mortgage on the this money pit of a home your wife wanted. No I am not bitter just honest.

Your toilet engineer shows up and is usually obese (Trying not to stereotype but come on, have you ever seen a skinny plumber that didn’t work for Rotor Rooter?) and begins to access the situation. With a puzzled look on his face he says “looks clogged”.  I think to myself ‘OH MY GOD, CLOGGED” this guy must have graduated at the top of his class from the Plumber’s Academy. So I ask before I can catch myself “Can you fix it?” I know, I know why would I ask such a question? All I can is that fatigue can make you ask questions you normally wouldn’t. So Mr. Plumber looks into my eyes with a serious look and begins to speak as he chuckles “You don’t know much about toilets, do you?” I look at him and look down at my Silk Pajamas and say “Uh, no.” He responds “I thought not, you see it just depends on whether or not the toilet wants to work with us tonight?” Not sure why but I am confused by this. I mean the toilet is not working with me right now so why would I expect it to… wait now I am thinking like the plumber I am so calling in sick tomorrow. I begin to get my wits back and stop asking questions because I really do not want this to last longer than it has to. However Mr. P is looking at me like he wants to teach me a class or something so I walk away even though the situation is awkward I really just want to go to bed so I continue to move away so maybe he can just get to work. Wishful thinking I guess. So he goes back out the door and oh by the doors don’t have to be slammed at three o’clock in the morning.