Signs That You’re Being Bullied at Work

You start to blame yourself for the situation.

In an effort to understand control your workplace situation, you begin to look for flaws in yourself, rather than in the bully.

What type of person does the bully target? Targets are usually:

• Dedicated workers
• Well-liked by peers and management
• Intelligent people who take initiative
• Competent and capable
• Knowledgeable about their field
• Viewed as a threat by the bully

More women than men are the targets, but the bullies themselves are just as likely to be of either gender. Female bullies usually target other women.

For targets of the bully, trying to creatively and competently attend to business in such toxic workplaces is like trying to thread a needle on a rollercoaster. Worse, targets most often bring their job trouble back home with them, replaying incidents in their minds, dreading the return to the office, and suffering from symptoms of anxiety. Insomnia is common, and so is high blood pressure, nausea and depression. Spouses, family members and other friends can attest to their loved one having changed – they obsess about work and they seem to have lost interest in the things that used to bring them pleasure.

What can you do if you’re being harassed or bullied at work?

For those not protected by legislation or clear company policy the answer is disheartening. You should document occurrences of their behavior and include dates and times when the incidents took place. Make copies of any offensive notes or emails and keep them at home, approach Human Resources, if your company has such a department, or try to stand up for yourself in a firm but inoffensive manner. Consider saying, publicly “I don’t like how you are treating me. It is a problem because.. “ and then outline your top concerns, appealing to business interests rather than emotions.

Most of the time targets end up quitting their jobs or even being fired, usually for their “negative attitude.” Lawsuits are possible, but costly, and most people who are unemployed are more concerned with getting another job than engaging in lengthy litigation. Most former targets, however, benefit from some action that brings them a sense of closure. Writing a letter to management, reaching out to others who have been victimized – even simply having the courage to name the problem to friends and family – offers some relief. Your ultimate goal should be to survive the experience with your self-confidence, emotional health, vision for the future and integrity intact.

Getting even with a former bully is tempting, but not practical. Ultimately, success is the best revenge. Move onward and upward with the knowledge that the problem was the bully’s, not your own.