The Top Five Ways to Look Like You Have an Important Job

Always Carry a Briefcase

There could be nothing more impressive and speak louder than a briefcase.

NOTE: Be careful who is around when you open it.  The contents might give you away.  We wouldn’t want anyone to find out that it is merely a fancy lunchbox or that it acts as a holder for your resume.

Always Carry a Cell Phone

Using your cell phone in public can impress most of the times.

Of course you have to be careful what people hear you saying.  For instance if bystanders overhear you saying something like, “No. Melissa sweetie Mommy will be home soon and you can take Bowser for a walk then.”

I might suggest a staged call. Where you cause your phone to ring and when you answer it, you say something like, “Yes J.R. I just met with them.  They are going to have their people get in touch with our people. When we hear back from their people we can get together and run it up the flagpole.”

Always Carry a Newspaper Under Your Arm

It is important that you take the stock market pages, turn them inside out and stick them under your arm for all to see.  Important businessmen follow the markets.

Note of Caution:  If you have spent the entire morning doing the crossword in the paper, be sure to leave that in your car or in that mysterious briefcase.

Always Park the Beat Up Car in an Isolated Parking Spot.

OR … If you have to take public transit it would be wise to use that ‘phantom cell phone’ gimmick again and stage a call to your (mechanic) to check on the progress of the repairs to the Lamborghini.

 Always Tip The Waitress

You may have to substitute a glass of water for the martini or glass of wine that you really wanted at lunch, but it is well worth it when you are trying to impress.

And of course it goes without saying: Dress to impress for success!