There’s No Business Like Shoe Business

Working a part time job in retail has become a necessity for me.  It seems being glib and trying to make people laugh on the internet is about as lucrative as being a lifeguard in the Sahara Desert.

For those who have ever worked, or are currently working, a retail job, you will probably agree that after dealing with the public, you seem to gain a new perspective of human nature.

I work for a nationally known shoe store, where the consumer comes in, finds a shoe they like, finds a box with their size written on it, tries the shoes on and proceeds to the cashier to make their purchase.  Here’s good news for men.  No matter how many times your wife has yelled at you to pick up your clothes, women, in a shoe store, are slobs.  Not all of them, mind you, but far more women will leave a stack of shoes in the middle of the aisle for other people to trip over then men.  And, after a three and a half year study, it appears that the smaller the foot, the bigger the mess.  It’s like the smaller shoe size means a smaller I.Q.

So, here are some tips, you, as the consumer, should follow when shopping in one of these establishments.  First, ladies, pick up after yourself.  It’s not our job to clean up your mess.  We’re not your mommies.  If this is the way your house looks, you need disaster relief. 

Also, when you use those disposable peds that are available for your use, keep in mind that they are disposable.  So, don’t leave your nasty, smelly, peds that have been on your unwashed feet, on the floor for the sales help to pick up.  Would you want to pick up a perfect stranger’s used underwear?  Probably not.  There are garbage cans conveniently located throughout the store for you to dispose of them.  Use them.  And tell your kids they are not headgear.  So, quit letting them stretch them over their heads, especially if your kids found them on the floor and aren’t the ones you thoughtlessly discarded.

Speaking of kids, there is nothing more boring for a kid then to watch grownups try on several dozen pairs of shoes.  This causes unrest and soon your little darlings are running around the store, playing trip the sales help, or some other lethally dangerous game.  Here’s a good idea.  Leave them at home.  They’ll appreciate your trusting them to fend for themselves and you’ll be relieved that it wasn’t them that knocked over that expensive display case.