Toilet Turd

Thank you to that person (presumably male) that left the foot long turd as thick as a small child’s leg in the men’s upstairs toilets.

I must admit, that I have never seen a turd as big as that – it must have had a volume of at least 0.002 cubic meters – quite remarkable for a turd. The colour consistency was superb, and would I imagine be the result of a diet consisting solely of meat and two veg. The fact that you can push such a mass out of your butt is a feat beyond compare – it must have been extremely painful – unless of course you are used to rectal relaxation from other social endeavours. Is there some place you can go or some book you can read to learn how to push out gigantic turds? Additionally, the aroma  – similar to that of bloated wild boar guts – was wonderful upon entering the toilets – very suitable for a men’s toilet.

However, there are those who are not as easily impressed as I. I would think that a visiting child, upon accidentally seeing the beast turd may require counselling. Indeed, a women entering the toilets by mistake may never be the same again. I instead propose two options for future reference.

1. Close the toilet lid and place a sign on it stating – - WARNING – bowl contains unflushable monster turd from hell.

2. Get a stick and break it into several smaller flushable segments.

Of course you may have gone to get a container to have it subsequently bronzed, or perhaps a digital camera so as to distribute the giant across the Internet. If this is the case then I am sorry, for it had sufficiently softened for a successful flushing by the time I had arrived – and it has been flushed.