8/11/09-   ”The Top Of -The Heap” by Marty Schwartz & M. Asinoff – his idea – 95% me.

Guess what! You know how people, happiness, security & love are measured in money? And success is the “best perfume”? Well, guess what! I’m “drenched” in it…and “reeking”! I just got a great job…as a garbage man! Yes! …A garbage man! That isn’t just a “huge aspiration” in places like N.Y.C… It’s a “major status symbol”…like a “blue-collar, accountant”! 

George A. Romero’s (horror film- maker: Dawn of the Dead) dad told him to start -working on his pension early & be a-garbage –man when he graduated high school. George knew actors & athletes make a fortune & being a garbage man wasn’t for him.

But it is for me! I’m happy! I made it! Now I can afford to look & act- like a “real, big- shot”! Hell, now I –can- afford- to- hang- out- in- night-clubs on- weekends & tell babes I’m “connected”.  Women like “bad boys”. We’re exciting.

So- what if I -get a little creative with the- truth? They’ll “buy” it when they see my- big, wad of bills & gold chains. I won’t tell them I’ll be picking-up trash Monday or the Lincoln’s my dad’s. You see I grew up on the streets & never was, or pretended to be real smart.  Although I worked very hard on my MFBHT: Masters in Football, Baseball, Hockey, & TV!  I guess I glorify & idolize athletes & like TV like many Americans.

You know something? My smart friends on Wall Street & in computers who still have jobs are scared of being let-go. So they do furloughs two days a month.  That means working free and taking a 10% pay cut while management gets TARP & gives million $1 Million bonuses.

Management wants more profit every year. So to raise it corporations are in merger “mania” & outsourcing. You must train your replacement to get severance pay & a reference. Not that references matter. There are no jobs. Auto plants are closing & GM now stands for Government Motors.

People delete degrees from their resumes cause they’re -over qualified for many jobs It’s no wonder they stop job hunting & owe Visa their “third born”, despite graduating- college.

The rich get richer, the poor, poorer & the middle class “beat down.” You get a tax rebate. And it’s-income you get re-taxed on! That should be illegal! At least a mugger uses a gun or knife.

I have pals who live home, rent free & can’t support their pets, much less themselves, despite being thrifty, college grads. They oscillate from anger, depression, demoralization, frustration to emasculation. A job’s a big part of- who guys are. People can’t buy new cars @ 0% for six years & employee discounts. Lucky we live longer cause- they’ll be paying their “master”…card till they’re 100 cause- interest rates catapult if you’re late, or miss a payment.

Retirement’s “mission impossible”: the govt. cut Medicare/SS & finds new taxes/harasses motorists…in a blackout to pay interest on an exploding deficit, cause although I must balance my budget the govt. won’t do its & international companies only loyalty is $. They shift profits overseas to avoid taxes/raise profits. President Bush helps them by cutting their taxes during war.

It’s hard to believe growing up in the 60’s my dad was a mechanic, supported mom, four kids & subsidized his mom & uncle. We- had a house & car. And all he owed was a mortgage. Ironically, he just has a H.S. Diploma & did it on under $150 a week, gross, with inflation! Gas was 20 cents.

If the Labor Dept. says costs rose, the Stock Market plummets! People aren’t assets to nurture anymore. We’re disposable appliances/expenses to cut. Downsizing’s the buzz word of the 80’s & 90’s & outsourcing the new Millennium. Companies run overseas, hire needy immigrants, part-timers, temps, independent contractors, fire people to save severance pay. And have accountants double as advisors to find very creative ways to inflate stock prices & “reinvent” math: 1+ 1= anything u want…until “big brother busts” u. When u fail the stock market plummets, Uncle Sam bails u out for billions & u take a fancy vacation on his dime.

There are so few employees left & so much work there’s no lunch, raise, bonus, or profit sharing. People must do two or three- jobs, are on salary & must work O.T. free to save the company money. If they gripe, they’re fired.

The govt. does it too: the Post Office hires for their special: no holiday pay & after 89 days you’re “canned”. So you don’t get benefits. If you’re good, they rehire you a day later for another 89 days & it begins again. This saves a fortune & insures big shots’ raises and bonuses! 

The govt. says unemployment’s down. But not how many took big pay cuts, are p/t, or temp! I’m no economist. But wonder how people who lose their jobs can afford to buy homes and cars? And what happens if those who aren’t let- go, fear they’re next, so they don’t? This doesn’t seem like a- plan for long-term success.  That’s why the government’s bailing out banks, auto industry, etc. & they’re taking fancy business trips, spending thousands redecorating their offices, getting huge bonuses, etc.

Henry Ford knew it’s-good business to give his men a raise so they could buy a Model T! His great, grandson, Bill’s CEO, closing -plants & firing 35G cause labor pays for management’s ineptness & the Japanese beat us @ our own game: thinking long term/making compacts.

Luckily, I don’t have to worry about that. I’ve got good pay/ benefits. I should- be cloned because they can put a man on the Moon & a robot on Mars, but they still need me to collect trash! That’s job security! Maybe I’m smarter than my successful pals: I’ll retire in 20 years at half pay! I’m not worried cause-l-bought a house with the $ I saved on college. So I can’t be screwed by an Enron, MCI or shady broker.

I’d consider teaching, if it didn’t cost thousands to get degrees so demonic/drug-addicted/ ”possessed”/sadistic/uncivilized/ unloved/ unwanted/violent/kids & parents can curse/threaten me. No one bothers garbage men. We’re not crazy. We don’t go “postal”.

Besides, education’s a paradox today: a Bachelor’s Degree equals a high school diploma 20 years ago. You need college for most jobs & people assume if you went you’re smart. Unfortunately, there are so many doctors & lawyers it’s “degree inflation”. Many people work so hard & borrow a small fortune to be one, yet can’t even get a job making enough to repay their loans because paralegals & physician’s assistants earn a fraction of their salary because all they need’s a Bachelor’s to examine patients/write prescriptions. President Clintons said there are too many doctors. So the Federal Government will pay hospitals not to hire any.

Employers begrudge you a life/are “vampires”/want to “own” your heart/soul. They settle for mind & body. Companies make workers take pay cuts, forfeit health care & pension or take early retirement, rob ½ their pension to keep their job, while & fire them when they reach early retirement so the big boys get larger raises/retention bonuses every year, even if the company loses $. They’re fired before eligible for early retirement bonus. So the can be replaced by a temp, p/t, or outsourced for less. There are-so many unemployed, college grads, employers are picky.

So, maybe I’m wrong, but the way I see it, at this rate if we’re not the world -leader in technology in the new millennium, we will be in garbage pick-up! Who needs college? I’m “King of the- Hill”! I reached the “top of the garbage heap” without it! And I graduated high school with a D average!  Talk about irony!