Weirdest Job Applicants

Over my last 20 or so years in employment I have spent most of those years at management level recruiting for new staff. In discussion today it made me realise that during the application process I had more than a few stories to tell. I’d like to assure you that every story I am recounting here is completely true, and of course I am disclosing no names.

My most amusing (partially because I never got to the bottom of it) application came from a relatively young man who had applied for a shop job. In his interests he had written that he enjoyed playing with toys, I never ascertained if these were adult or children’s toys. But more amusingly in his work history he stated he had worked for Burger King, when I looked at his reason for leaving he had written “Caught acting Burgerly”.

Another catering related incident had a man with a reasonable work history, but his most recent employment, and the one most employers care about the most had a big cloud over it, it never really explained his departure. At interview stage though when quizzed he explained that during his shift people had complained about a curious taste on his food, and that without his knowledge the company had analysed some of his food. It had been discovered that there were not small but “sizable”  amounts of mixed semen found on the food he had prepared in this well known eatery, The man explained he had believed it was a conspiracy to get him out, but you have to ask who would go so far as to apply mixed semen to someone’s food, and how exactly he never noticed someone applying it, and of course I guess most importantly where they were getting the multiple quantities of semen?

Another applicant had similar sexual issues in that it seems he could not keep his hands for himself. In his scattered career path he had three interesting reasons for leaving. One stated that he was accused of sexual harassment, one accused and dismissed him of sexual harassment, and one accused him of stalking the female manager, all of which he had written on his application. I like honesty but I thought this really took the biscuit. Several weeks later we read in the local paper that he had been at the time of his application on police bail and after a lengthy court case found guilty of having sex with three underage girls, all of whom however openly consented.