- 1 1. The Number of Sex Partners He has had
- 2 2. He Doesn’t Watch Porn
- 3 3. He Doesn’t Compare You with Former Partners
- 4 4. He Has No Contact with Former Partners
- 5 5. Uncertainty about His Fidelity
- 6 6. He Would Never Fall for a Colleague
- 7 7. How Often He Wants Sex
- 8 8. What Kind of Sex He would Like
- 9 9. Fantasies about Other Men
- 10 10. He Doesn’t Masturbate
1. The Number of Sex Partners He has had
This is the big one. To sex partners, he’d reduce the number so that he’d appear more reliable and likely to remain in the relationship. To his male buddies, he would typically multiply the number by a factor of 2-10. In her article “The Myth, the Math, the Sex” in The New York Times August 12, 2007, Gina Kolata reports how studies worldwide show that boasting of more sex partners give men higher status than women. Many men report that they are required to brag, otherwise they would be consider less of a male.
2. He Doesn’t Watch Porn
It’s not him but the others. For most men, watching porn is just a sidekick to get aroused and get an instant feeling of being alive. Porn doesn’t compete with steady relationships unless he has a serious addiction or the relationship makes him miserable.
3. He Doesn’t Compare You with Former Partners
He wants to flatter you and be nice and might say that you are prettier, better, warmer etc. If the relationship has started deteriorating, things may change. In the middle of a fight, he might angrily blurt out that some former partner was better, prettier, sexier or more understanding – Oops! Then he’s in big trouble.
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4. He Has No Contact with Former Partners
For fear of hurting you, he might not mention that he might have occasional contact with some ex and exchange news, just like friends or relatives do. If you pressure him too much, he might get upset. Seasoned cheaters, of course, are a different story, but they are a minority in any society. Infidelity expert and author of the book “Women’s Infidelity”, claims that research shows women cheat just as much.
5. Uncertainty about His Fidelity
This doubt about his ability to remain faithful to his partner, he will never reveal to anyone. When a relationship starts losing the intimacy, the spark that animates the bond, this risk of infidelity rises.
6. He Would Never Fall for a Colleague
Flirting is common at work. Flirting is mostly an innocent game, a sign of being alive. The urge to take that further grows stronger if the relationship doesn’t work any more.
7. How Often He Wants Sex
Men usually want sex more often than women but some women often don’t mind either. For most men, wanting much of it is not a problem, they can live with what they get. But for some men it can be.
8. What Kind of Sex He would Like
Research shows that men report dreams of sex with multiple partners twice as frequently as women. In addition, he might have fantasies about domination, S/M, wearing women’s clothes, role-plays, which he may not be comfortable admitting.
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9. Fantasies about Other Men
Men report having fantasies involving sex with multiple partners and groups with other men involved. Some totally straight men even report fantasizing about other men. These are just fantasies and they would probably never think of having any homosexual tendencies or inclinations. Reports claim that the Internet however, allows some men to even engage in anonymous sexual interaction also by assuming false identities to act on their fantasies.
10. He Doesn’t Masturbate
He does, though he may never admit it. Many women partners think it’s fine, keeps him fit and content but some women get jealous and make it a power issue. Research reported in Leitenberg, Harold; Henning, Kris (1995), “Sexual Fantasy”, Psychological Bulletin 117 (3): 469–496, shows that 80% of men report having more vivid and detailed fantasies while masturbating than women.
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