Dealing with Breakups: Happiness Depends Upon Ourselves

As the great philosopher Aristotle once said, “Happiness depends upon ourselves.” You can’t rely on money, material things, or even other people to make yourself happy. In order to be happy during a relationship or after it has ended, you must be happy with yourself. A breakup is just one of the sticky situations in life that we all experience, some more than others.

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Ten Ideas on How to Sustain a Long Distance Relationship

I am assuming that you two have already been in a relationship for a reasonable amount of time. Your time together is precious and sacred and both of you appreciate the fact that among thousands of people out there, the two of you chose to be together. I assume here that there are no lies, that both are committed to the relationship.

A long distance relationship is a trial of patience for two people in love. I’ve had my share of them due to my job commitments and at this stage in time, university degree requirement. In this article I will share several ideas on ways to not only sustain a pre-existing relationship but also develop it further.

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10 Signs You are Dating a Narcissist

There are degrees of narcissism. Some are more severe than others. Some are merely annoying egomaniacs. Others are axe murderers. But if you are in a relationship that has left you feeling frustrated and you’re not sure why, you may well be with a narcissist. Here are a few signs to watch for.

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How to Have a Sex Life When You are a Virgin

You might be thinking that it is impossible to have a sex life if you are a virgin, but think again! Just because you are not having sex- either by choice or not, does not mean that you cannot experience the wonders of love making and all that surrounds it.

There is more to sex than just… well sex!

    • If you have a partner and you are either choosing to wait for the right time- such as marriage, or you are both too scared then it is time to experiment with each other. Just because you are not ready for sex, does not mean that you cannot enjoy yourselves and learn what each other enjoys. The power of touch is an amazing thing, try touching each other at the same time- run your hands all over your partner’s body to make the skin tingle and excite the senses. Use your lips to accentuate the pleasure by planting tiny kisses on your partner’s lips, neck, chest and inner thighs and if you are feeling really brave then why not try oral? This can be very pleasurable for both men and women and it is a great way for getting intimate with your partner, without actually having penetrative sex.
    • If you are single, then now is the time to learn just what you like and need- this is the perfect opportunity to get to know your own body. If you don’t know how to pleasure yourself, then how are you going to pleasure a future partner? Explore yourself- run your hands all over your body, get to know how your body feels to you and how it responds to touch- learn what you like so that when you do bite the bullet and go all the way, you will know exactly what you want and you will be a bit more prepared.

 

    • Get some toys- this is not advisable if you are a virgin because of religious views, because some sex toys can give the sensation of penetration- but if you want to experiment and get used to how something feels inside of you, before you go all the way- then this is the perfect way of enjoying yourself, as well as teaching yourself new things.

 

    • Go online- if you are scared about having sex for the first time, and you find that you keep putting it off, then go online and chat to people just like you- you are not the only one out there! The worst thing that you can do is build it up into a massive hurdle, and go out looking for someone to do it with- the chances are, the moment you stop stressing, is the moment that it happens! Do some research- sex isn’t that scary!

 

    • Be intimate without the sex- some of the best feelings you can experience is simply being with your partner, kissing and cuddling either dressed or naked can really get your blood pumping and make you hot and tingly all over. You do not have to have sex to enjoy all of the pleasures that it brings, and you do not have to have sex to have a healthy sex life.

 

Hopefully this has helped you to realise that you do not have to be having sex to have a sex life- there are plenty of ways to get all of the pleasure whilst keeping your virginity in tact- and getting you some great pointers along the way! Remember- don’t rush into anything that you are not ready for, and sex is a very special thing so make sure that you have found your special someone before you do anything as intimate as sex. Good luck!

25 Myths and Facts About Sex

Relationships, especially sexual ones, undoubtedly play a major role with regards to our mood and well being. It is not uncommon to find couples unhappy, over conscious and confused in bed, particularly because of their misconceptions or notions about sex.

Sex, a biological fact, is not much talked about in our societies. When a girl or boy lands up in teens with fascinations, curiosities and hormonal stimulation; he/she does not have much knowledge to bank upon and left with no choice but to consult other immature friends, search web or ask Internet pals. Here is the gist of 25 myths and facts about sex will help fade all confusions hovering since ages.

MYTHS 

1.   Women also ejaculate during sexual intercourse.

2.   Simultaneous orgasms are a must for sexual satisfaction.

3.   Only men have wet dreams.

4.   Wet dreams are sexual disorders.

5.   Venereal disease is cured if the man has sex with a virgin.

6.   Frequent masturbation makes the penis shrink.

7.   Special food and exercise will make the penis grow big.

8.   Masturbation leads to nervous breakdown.

9.   Vasectomy makes a man impotent.

10.   Men have stronger sexual urges than women.

11.   Anal sex is only practised by homosexuals.

12.   A normal man should be able to get an erection whenever he wants it.

13.   A man is not a male if he cannot get a penile erection.

14.   Menopause puts an end to a women’s sex life.

15.   Imparting sex education to youngsters will lead them to promiscuity.

16.   A woman should orgasm with intercourse alone.

17.   A woman must bleed when she has sex for the first time.

18.   Sex during menstruation is unhygienic and unsafe.

19.   A girl cannot get pregnant the first time she has sexual intercourse.

20.   A female cannot get pregnant while she is breastfeeding.

21.   There is an absolutely “safe” period for sexual intercourse during which intercourse cannot cause pregnancy.

22. Having a male withdraw his penis from a female’s vagina before he ejaculates or “comes” (coition) is a good way to prevent pregnancy.

23. You’re a homosexual if you’ve had sex with, or even had a “sexy” dream about, someone of the same sex.

5 Tips For Teenagers For Their First Date

Your first teenage date, alone with a boy can make your nervous, but if you follow these simple hints you will be well on your way to having a successful first date.

Seeing that you finally agreed to going out and give this seemingly interested guy a chance, you will want to master dating etiquette.  If you said “yes” to his request for a date, there must be something interesting about him, so get it right the first time.

Here goes a few tips to carry for that first date that will calm your nerves and help to leave a lasting impression;

1. Be yourself. This lays a necessary foundation for honesty. After being in so many exhaustive dates and relationships being honest from the start is the first best decision you can make. It weeds out any fakes and leaves room for only those who can stick around for the storms that are your emotions and moods. So after saying yes, when he asks for your input on what time and where you’d like to go, don’t be shy, point out your favorite joint and negotiate from there. It may not be his favorite, but at least you can negotiate from there.

first-date-outfit2. Regarding fashion, prepare well for the date. Pick out an outfit that you know looks good on you, something you can be comfortable in, but also doesn’t telegraph the wrong intentions. The right dress will help you to relax and be confident, while putting your best foot forward.  You want him to focus on you the person, not you the sex symbol.

3. Be sure to inform your friends or family of his plans and where exactly you will be going. When you arrive, you might send a text message to a responsible friend or family member with your location. You may also want to carry with you some cash or a credit card in case the date goes awry.  As long as you have money, you can hold on to your independence.

4. Much as we like to be fashionably late, be on time!  Put his feelings first to show your respect, and then you can demand respect for yourself from him when you need it.

texting-on-date5. During the date, switch off your phone, or put it on silent and engage in conversation. Don’t make it about yourself, but ask questions and pay attention to responses while avoiding giving too much information in one dose. Be polite in your mannerism towards your date and the hosts. Avoid hot topics like politics that are bound to leave an unpleasant air and take it easy on the alcohol to avoid embarrassments.

restaurantbilledit6. Seeing that we live in a gender balanced world, when it comes to settling the bill, you can politely offer to do so, but if he says he will pay, kindly let him. Remember that he too may be nervous and letting him feel confident about himself may be just what he needs to make the date worthwhile for both of you.

7. When the date ends, chances are you’ll already have decided if you’d want to see him again. Don’t make it awkward for him and give him hints as you say your goodbyes. If he seems unsure and offers a handshake, take it and linger a while with his hand so he knows you enjoyed the company and are finding it hard to say goodbye. On the other hand, if you didn’t enjoy your time, it would be better if you let him down in a kind way rather than be rude. Make a stand quickly to avoid games and wasting both your precious time. Remember that it was just a date, and if his efforts didn’t make a lasting or good impression, then it is better to move on, although giving him a second chance won’t hurt.

In going for this first date with anyone that you fancy, remember to have fun. The first date may not be as great as you expected, but making an effort to put yourself out there really counts. Let your date know if you would like to see them again as soon as they make the follow up call and don’t give them a hard time.

So if you’re looking to make a lasting impression as well as have fun, try these five simple tips that will ensure you brush off on your dating game and find the one. All the best!!

Men’s 10 Biggest Lies About Sex

1. The Number of Sex Partners He has had

This is the big one. To sex partners, he’d reduce the number so that he’d appear more reliable and likely to remain in the relationship. To his male buddies, he would typically multiply the number by a factor of 2-10. In her article “The Myth, the Math, the Sex” in The New York Times August 12, 2007, Gina Kolata reports how studies worldwide show that boasting of more sex partners give men higher status than women. Many men report that they are required to brag, otherwise they would be consider less of a male.

2. He Doesn’t Watch Porn

It’s not him but the others. For most men, watching porn is just a sidekick to get aroused and get an instant feeling of being alive. Porn doesn’t compete with steady relationships unless he has a serious addiction or the relationship makes him miserable.

3. He Doesn’t Compare You with Former Partners

He wants to flatter you and be nice and might say that you are prettier, better, warmer etc. If the relationship has started deteriorating, things may change. In the middle of a fight, he might angrily blurt out that some former partner was better, prettier, sexier or more understanding – Oops! Then he’s in big trouble.

Photo source: Wikimedia commons

4. He Has No Contact with Former Partners

For fear of hurting you, he might not mention that he might have occasional contact with some ex and exchange news, just like friends or relatives do. If you pressure him too much, he might get upset. Seasoned cheaters, of course, are a different story, but they are a minority in any society. Infidelity expert and author of the book “Women’s Infidelity”, claims that research shows women cheat just as much.

5. Uncertainty about His Fidelity

This doubt about his ability to remain faithful to his partner, he will never reveal to anyone. When a relationship starts losing the intimacy, the spark that animates the bond, this risk of infidelity rises.

6. He Would Never Fall for a Colleague

Flirting is common at work. Flirting is mostly an innocent game, a sign of being alive. The urge to take that further grows stronger if the relationship doesn’t work any more.

7. How Often He Wants Sex

Men usually want sex more often than women but some women often don’t mind either. For most men, wanting much of it is not a problem, they can live with what they get. But for some men it can be.

8. What Kind of Sex He would Like

Research shows that men report dreams of sex with multiple partners twice as frequently as women. In addition, he might have fantasies about domination, S/M, wearing women’s clothes, role-plays, which he may not be comfortable admitting.


Photo Source: Wikimedia Commons

9. Fantasies about Other Men

Men report having fantasies involving sex with multiple partners and groups with other men involved. Some totally straight men even report fantasizing about other men. These are just fantasies and they would probably never think of having any homosexual tendencies or inclinations. Reports claim that the Internet however, allows some men to even engage in anonymous sexual interaction also by assuming false identities to act on their fantasies.

10. He Doesn’t Masturbate

He does, though he may never admit it. Many women partners think it’s fine, keeps him fit and content but some women get jealous and make it a power issue. Research reported in Leitenberg, Harold; Henning, Kris (1995), “Sexual Fantasy”, Psychological Bulletin 117 (3): 469–496, shows that 80% of men report having more vivid and detailed fantasies while masturbating than women.


Photo source: Wikimedia commons

How to Have Sex in a Car

For many young people, car is an only place where they can have sex. But do you hear them complaining? No! This is because sex in the car can be great. So, if you are having difficulties with having sex in car, here are some tips that will help you.

Many people have quite an experience when it comes to having sex in a car. But there are some who still haven’t figured it out. And remember that learning to have sex in a car can be very useful. Just remember how many times you and your partner didn’t really want to go to some stupid party. And if you knew how, you could make a stop at the half of the way and have a car sex. It’s spontaneous and exciting. What more can you want?

Here are some tips on how to have a sex in a car.

Keep it nice and clean
Your partner will sure appreciate if you keep your car clean. No one wants to sit on a candy bar or to smell something bad. Even if you are in a steady relationship, you should keep your car nice and clean. This is because you never know when you two might want to have sex in the car.

Wet handkerchiefs
You should always have wet handkerchiefs in your glove compartment. Make sure you choose the non alcohol ones. There is no need to explain why. If you want to have a sex in a car, make sure you buy them right after the condoms. Wet handkerchiefs will be greatly appreciate by your date.

Clothes
If you are planning car sex, make sure you wear something you can easily take off, of course. Think loose, with as few buttons as possible.  Velcro would be ideal. Ladies, consider bras with front enclosures, and men, this is as good a time as any to go commando.

Don’t wear anything too tight, or complicated because nothing can take the edge off quicker than spending 10 lust-filled minutes wrestling with skin tight jeans. And if you haven’t been planning you car sex, try not to run or get holes in stockings.

Condoms
The cheapest birth-control method to make sure your life remains your own. Fill your glove box with them (unless it’s during the summer) and keep them in a ziplock bag to help with freshness.  A condom is useless unless it can still stretch.

Location
You can find places in every city that young people often visit. And no one is thinking on theatres and libraries. So, be sure you ask around. Having sex in a car at some place that no one uses for that purpose can be tricky. The best thing is to go to the places that are already been checked out.

Positions
Try Cowgirl style for intense control. With him in the passenger seat, slide the seat to the rear and recline the seat back flat. Get into his lap and grab onto the headrest for leverage. Unlike sex on a big bed, car sex is limited to few positions (unless you drive an Escalade). The best way is to follow the logic. If both you and your partner are skinny, sex in a car won’t be a problem at all. But if you have some extra pound, take things easy. You just need to find out what the best way for you two is and slowly to learn.

The Older Woman Experience

Why do guys who like older women like them? What are the advantages to being with one? Your answers here.
Young women are easy to manipulate, which is cool if you are a somewhat creepy guy looking for somebody to take advantage of. I prefer the ones that have been manipulated before, been played and taken advantage of because they can appreciate honesty. Somebody like me who would rather spend his energy on something other than trying to get a woman to believe a lie is actually a relief. This why women beyond a certain age are more appealing. That said, because they learned what they learned the hard way they tend to come with a certain amount of baggage. This baggage can range from bitter emotional cruelty to the Lorena Bobbitt psycho freak-out baggage. It’s like herpes, there is no way around it you just have to brave the outbreaks and enjoy the rest.

Another good part of the older woman experience is, as many have said before me, the sex. After a woman has been in a marriage for a certain amount of time, or dated for a certain amount of time, and especially after kids, sex loses its sheen. It stops being a moonlight walk on the beach kind of thing and becomes something along the lines of a good foot-rub. Not unromantic, just more functional, less of a prize, than an exercise in mutual satisfaction. It’s not so novel anymore, not so influenced by the movies or TV. The sensual, physical part becomes a greater factor and the fact that you are younger than her gives you an advantage over men in her age-group.

There is also the fact that she is more comfortable with who she is. Women over forty may not be exactly sure of who they are, but they are surer than they were at twenty-five or thirty. This makes you less nervous as you have a better understanding of who they are too. Your conversation is not hamstrung by the uncertainty of what kind of woman you are dealing with. Her confidence will make you more confident.

The drawbacks, for many men, come with the body-type and what most men find physically attractive about a woman. Most guys are attracted to youth and unblemished firmness. Not every woman over forty has the body of a 20-something, and trying to find the few who do is going to drastically limit your pool of potential partners. It helps if you happen to like the way older women look and feel, if you can see the beauty in softer curves, in little imperfections, and if you find that those things are sexier, more welcoming, and more interesting than a shortlived firmness.

by Nick Brice

Dealing with Breakups – Happiness Depends Upon Ourselves

Steps to overcoming the pain and hurt of a breakup, and how to find happiness again.

As the great philosopher Aristotle once said, “Happiness depends upon ourselves.” You can’t rely on money, material things, or even other people to make yourself happy. In order to be happy during a relationship or after it has ended, you must be happy with yourself. A breakup is just one of the sticky situations in life that we all experience, some more than others.

Breaking Up With the Person You Love

Dealing with heartache and heartbreak is never easy, no matter the circumstances. You may have caught them cheating, and ended it yourself, or maybe one of you just couldn’t deal with the long distance relationship any longer. All you can remember are the memories you had together, and possibly the thoughts of a future you would have shared together. It can be a very painful experience and people have different ways of trying to cope. You may find yourself terribly unhappy and unable to enjoy the things you once loved. Here are some things you can do:

  1. Let Those Emotions Flow: letting go of a person who you care about can play a huge toll on the emotions. Every song you hear, place you visit, or conversation you have may leave you thinking of them. Grieving is the first step to healing. Keeping bad emotions inside is harmful to the body. It may take days, even months, but once you have dealt with your emotions you will be a happier person.
  2. Learn to Forgive: if things ended badly, you may be experiencing a lot of hurt and even anger. Reframe from sending hate mail via e-mail, or leaving nasty messages on their answering machine. Not only are you too good for them, but you are too good for that. Stop wasting your time! They don’t deserve your attention for another minute. Forgive them for the things they have done, and you will find it easier to move on to bigger and better things.
  3. Learn to Forget: It will take time. Time and time again you will hear someone say “you will heal in time.” Chances are you will not believe it at the time, but it is true. Once you learn to focus on the present and all that you have going for you, new wonderful memories will grow.
  4. Exercise and Eat Healthy: go for a run, join the gym, or attend a yoga class! Exercising gives the body, mind, and soul a natural high. It will leave you feeling refreshed and positive. Plus, you may just catch the eye of the person at the gym beside you!
  5. Stay Confident: don’t let your self esteem dwindle because someone dumped you. You’re fun, your beautiful, your the perfect match for someone out there! Confidence is key, not only to feeling great about yourself, but attracting future love interests for when you ready to join back in the game.
  6. Do Something Special For Yourself: after a painful experience you should treat yourself. After all, you deserve it. Go get that manicure you’ve been wanting, or that CD you’ve been dying to listen to. Do the things you enjoy most.
  7. Keep A Journal or Diary: write about the things that make you happy. Putting emphasis on the good things in life will boast your positive thoughts and feelings. Record the things you are grateful for. Are you appreciating all the beautiful things life has to offer?
  8. Go Out With Your Friends: chances are, you did not spend a tonne of time with your friends while you were in your relationship. Go out with your friends. If you’re feeling really down, talk about it with them, even ask them for advice. Just have fun! By the end of the night you will hopefully remember how great it is to be single.
  9. Get Back On the Road to Happiness: Remember, “happiness depends upon yourself.” You don’t need a boyfriend or girlfriend to be happy. There are plenty of things to be grateful for in life. Spend extra time with friends and family — the people who make you happy!